This past weekend annie and i flew out to california for juanitas mexican food down in encinitas. the california burritos are my favorite. after driving four hours from lax via temecula, we were ready for lunch... and dinner. dos california burritos por favor. gracias juanita. we enjoyed our delicious treats at bentley's casa. he's quite the little gentleman host. his roommates were pretty cool too. annie's friend melissa flew in to get away from the perfect weather and surf in some part of the world andrew zimmern goes to eat dingle berries. i've never been there and those things don't taste anything like berries. some of the neighbor kids came by to shoot hoops and take shots. once everyone got wasted we started up the tattoo machine. tattooing at parties is like having a pinata at a kids birthday, except instead of a bat, it's tiny little needles. instead of a pinata, it was duke, but it definately felt like i was blind folded and spun around... a lot. for some reason, i banished myself to the basement. nighty night.
breakfast at juanitas... ok. after breakfast we headed in a new direction, we headed up for the kick off party for the el diablo run up in temecula. thanks to mcgoo they had liquor in the front and poker in the rear*. well, no poker, just a bunch of sweaty biker dudes with hot meat. it was chicken i believe. tons of great bikes made it up there. flat iron mike's bike was my favorite. more drinking and tattooing. tattooing here was like a hot dog eating contest. instead of eating a bunch of hot dogs, it was doing a bunch of tattoos. they were delicious, but no filet mahoney. i felt like that japanese dude that always wins those contest, but instead of breathing exercises to expand my stomach, i just drank whiskey to expand mine. thoughout the night annie and melissa are e-mailing, text messaging, myspacing, cell phoning, land lining, homing pigoening nicky. trying to convince her this was the shindig of the century and not to be missed. 6pm a ticket from coloradical was purchase, by midnight she was at in and out burger eating a burger wrapped with lettuce. very fancy. i banish myself to the van tonight.
morning, no juanitas? she was there in spirit and also made an appearance at the temecula starbucks. yes annie, poop jokes are gross. bunch of biker dudes and gas station food. off to san felipe. driving, stopping, turning, mexican radio, girls on bikes, girls in van, candy, pizza hut, insurance, potholes, federales, gas, pee, no habla espanol. hola ruben's palapa. is that mcgoo on fire? yup. is that a tit in melissa's face? yup. thrifty ice cream? yup. "hey mad dog, you want to sit by the fire and speak of outlandish things we won't recall in the morning while consuming as much alcohol as possible?" "sounds like a great idea." this morning at 6am i banish myself to the bare floor and a leather jacket 10 sizes to small. i don't know who put that stupid sleeping bag on the floor, but i almost tripped over it and got comfortable. that would have sucked.
"what do you mean i can't have jack daniels for breakfast!" tattoos, tattoos, tattoos. tattooing here was like eating ice cream in a sand storm. but instead of a sand storm it was drunk sorority chicks beer bonging and passing out. instead of ice cream... well, ice cream is a delicious treat. fuck it... ice cream it is. tonight i make it to bed, which was like the container next to the register at a new england clam chowder take out counter... spoons and sporks only.
off to ensanada. driving, stopping, turning, mexican radio, girls on bikes, girls in van, candy, potholes, federales, gas, pee, no habla espanol, montazuma's revenge. tattoos... dos por favor. out on the town enjoying a good meal. what's for dessert, ice cream? no, how about gross naked chicks. my tummy hurts. i know... how about we drink more and go dancing. fuck i knew i should have busted out the robot. as i sat envisioning myself as the dude in footloose at the end of the movie dancing his little heart out, i think melissa went through the mexican wedding ritual. this magician of a man turned a simple napkin into a blossoming rose, bent down on one knee and asked melissa to marry him. she accepted and proceeded to do the ceremonial snake dance with him, then melissa offered this magic man her sisters belly button lint as a sacrific. Melissa then magically levitated above the table tops and announced to the wedding party of their reunion and sealed the deal with a little two step. was she wearing cowboy boots? to show we were now part of his familia, he offered us his familia's finest hand woven, oversize sombreros and machine guns. that was so nice of him. as a gesture of our appreciation, we had nicky puke in there bano and we were out. "hey, let's go out some more and eat street hot dogs with mayo on it and drink more." "sounds like a great plan." again i banished myself to the van to sleep.
last chance to get pics of my favorite bikes. never ever drive in tiajuana. back to juanitas for a california burrito, then station sushi for the week long melissa birthday celebration. "i can't believe i have to pay for sushi on my birthday."- jim gafagan. a little revenge industries booze cruz ($199 retail) ride down to the hot tub session and a swim meet to wind down the night. banished to the basement one last time.
one last california burrito at juanitas before flying home. shoots and shoots again. B.I.G. out.